Motivation: The Yes, the No and the Possibilities*

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By Sam Ibraham

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How many two letter words do you know that have any meaning at all?

Should these be words that you are concerned about, or even realize you should?

From the time we are born we are socialized into coming to know what is good and bad, wrong and right. From the earliest days you can remember the one word that continued to resonate in your mind was the dreaded “No”.  It held with it consequences and the remembrance of gestures that reinforced it far beyond when the event took place.  The word “No” is known to every human culture and language, the opposite of the affirmative and used to express many aspects of language. It is a word that you have likely heard from before you can remember and one that was used to defer poor behaviour, to condition, sensitize and even protect you against what you did not know.

Many of us have taken the word and grown up with it never allowing it to be redefined and as a result the “No” which is apart of our sub-conscience is nearly involuntarily spoken, acted upon and gestured. Although it has important implications in justifying right and wrong the issue of imbalance comes to affect our motivation to succeed and to grow.  Learning is a product of many complex environmental and social processes which becomes embedded into our day-to-day functions. When we continue to conceptualize the philosophy of “No” and prevent it from affirmative action, and even calculated risk then we come to greatly disadvantage ourselves and never reach our full potential.

Some rules of order as I have come to reference them to help understand the impact of “No” on goal setting:

1. I often remind many who lack motivation and who consistently reference “No…i cannot”, they are asked to reflect on if they truly “cannot” or simply “will-not” as the two are very distinct.

2. The next step is to replace the two (letter word) for three (letter word).  Try replacing the “No” for “Yes”.  Often acknowledging the affirmative offers another choice and one more that was never available, which opens greater possibilities and potential.

3. Affirmative movement: Once “yes” is recognized it can often be the motivation needed to formulate goals from newly discovered options.

Whether your plan is to lose weight, commit to those new years resolutions, or work to that next promotion the “No” becomes a well known deterrent that must be realized and reasoned as we have done above. The understanding of the “No” and how it affects your life and aspirations is a significant step in understanding the possibilities to enhancing your health and wellness.

*the opinions expressed are those of the author and are not to be taken as specific action plans, or to replace medical or psychological therapies. The expressed opinions are not intended to replace advise given by a healthcare provider for a specific conditions or circumstance, nor should they be inferred. Consult your healthcare provider.

Motivation to Quit

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By Sam Ibraham

You already know what I am going to say. Likely the same thing your wife, husband, daughter, son, brother, uncle, friend, your healthcare provider, and spot the dog have told you for years….. “You Need to Quit Smoking!”

The central idea idea has not been your own and this is part of the root cause. So lets looks at both sides in an objective fashion. For those who do not smoke it is more important for them to understand that smoking is an addiction and has a legitimate physiological and psychological impact that cannot be denied. For those that do no smoke we ask your patience and understanding that quitting requires motivation and some serious professional and personal support.  Also remember it is not that smokers will not quit, many times it is that they cannot quit!

Jane Doe*, 86 years old, a mother of 5, and grandmother of 11 comes to see me after over 60 years of being a 1.5 pack per day smoker and today has decided to quit. You may have a visual image of this woman now and our human nature tends to stereotype this scene. As you may have visualized a woman beyond her stated age, years of muscle wasting, stained finger nails and tissues, hoarse voice, and notably wheezy. Now comes the big question weighing on your mind “why now?”.

Smoking cessation as we term it in the the healthcare business is a complex interplay of psychological and physiological mechanisms that must be understood to help the people that matter most (you) to quit.  The following are stages that I and your doctors/healthcare providers have recognized that you proceed through and advise you accordingly:

  1. pre-contemplation: your not thinking about quitting, but you weigh the risks and benefits of it. If the risks outweigh the benefits you progress to the next stage.
  2. contemplation:  part of your wants to quit, but your not quite ready to give up the pleasure of cigarettes. When the negative risks outweigh everything you proceed to the next stage.
  3. preparation: an important step where you identify the triggers to smoking, plan ways to avoid the triggers, coping mechanisms, and staring to get together support mechanism to give you a psychological advantage.
  4. action: here is where you walk the talk and put into place your intentions with all the motivation and effort you have summoned from within. I have furnished my patients with stop smoking medications and other effective treatment in addition to the rehearsed plan. This phase is difficult due to cravings, irritation, and withdrawal from the physical and psychological aspects of smoking.
  5. maintenance and relapse: your at the checkered flag and the race is over!  Not quite. Unfortunately maintenance is just as important as the process itself. The longer you are smoke free the more confident you will become in maintaining it. You will continue to need to watch over yourself and gain support until you are self-sufficient. An occasional check-in to your support mechanism and healthcare provider is a good idea.

So Jane Doe, has for years contemplated smoking cessation and her reasons to quit even after 60 years are primarily for herself, as they should be for you. She never cited that she was doing it for her children or grandchildren, but herself!  This was the indicator of true readiness.  Realize that on average you may fail at smoking cessation 5-7 times before you quit for good, this should not be a discouraging factor but rather realistic expectations on your way to success, so failure is part of the process.

So the story ends, or is it now beginning for you or someone you know?  The choice and motivation to stop smoking needs to come from within to be a lasting change.

Here’s to your health and wellness.  Until next time.

*Names used in this blog are for illustrative purposes and do not reflect real names of people.